Sorry
by BrokenQuill11
Summary: This is a one-shot featuring Lily Evans and James Potter on the first day of school. James is dealing with some painful problems, and Lily, tactless as always, somehow finds a way to help. Eventually.


**AN: Hey guys, this is my first fanfic and I really hope you enjoy the story! Hopefully, if you like it, you'll leave me a review. If you hated the story, still leave me a review! Tell me how badly I screwed up and how I wasted precious minutes, or, in the cases of the people that probably hated the story, hours of your lives. Anyway, without any further ado,** _ **Sorry:**_

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

James walked slowly from the fireplaces that were on the outskirts of 9 ¾, careful to maintain the stoic mask that had yet to slip from his face since – well, since his life had fallen apart really. The Hogwarts Express huffed merrily just in front of him, which normally would have filled him up with excitement, after all, he was starting his 6th year at Hogwarts, but he didn't notice. He heard the whispers and saw the looks people were giving him out of the corner of their eyes, but at the same time, he didn't notice. He didn't notice one of the braver onlookers come up to him. "I'm sorry about you parents James." He didn't notice the person calling his name, one of the Marauders no doubt. He didn't even notice Lily Evans, who just came through the barrier on platform 9 to come here. He just kept walking, slowly making his way onto the train.

James went to the back of the train, to the last compartment in fact. He didn't even slow down when he passed the Marauders usual compartment on the second car. He didn't say anything to anyone. He just kept walking. He found himself at the last compartment, on the last car, at the back of the train without even realizing it. Everything had become hazy and blurred. He checked to make sure that his glasses were on his face, and, as usual, they were. He was numb, he reflected as he put away his luggage and made his way towards the window. He sat down with head in his hands and just sat there.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting when the compartment when he heard the door, "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize anyone was in here-Potter!" she finished with a snap. If he heard her, he gave no sign of it. "What," she said, "Couldn't find your boyfriends?" Still nothing. Lily frowned, usually she didn't have to try very hard to put him on edge. But, if nothing else, Lily did not give up easily. "Or maybe your parents didn't buy you the 30 bazillion galleon broom that you wanted?"

James flinched at this and looked up at Lily with an angry, pained fire in his eyes. Lily tensed in anticipation, waiting for the inevitable. But, instead, the fire drained and his eyes became empty again. He looked back down at his lap.

"C'mon James," Lily smirked, "It's no fun if you don't fight back."

James looked up again with those eerily empty eyes. "Just… Just not in the mood I guess." He shrugged and then looked back at his lap.

Lily had stopped breathing. James Potter _didn't_ want to argue? Was the world ending? Had gravity reversed? Were mice chasing cats? "What do you mean you're not in the –?You're _always_ in the mood!"

Again, James only shrugged. Then he looked up at her. "When you leave, do you think you could close the door on your way out?"

Lily thought about leaving the door open, just to annoy him, but ultimately decided against it. "Whatever," she muttered. Lily left the compartment more than a little confused in search of her friends.

James continued to look at his hands after he left, expecting to be angry at her. But, surprisingly he wasn't. When he really thought about it, he felt a little grateful. Odd as it may seem, he was grateful that she hadn't treated him any differently, that she hadn't told him she was sorry for his loss, that she hadn't looked at him with those spectacular green eyes full of pity. To be frank, James hadn't felt so relaxed since he'd heard the news that his parents had died. She had broken through the haze that had followed him for the last week or so and he thought, for the first time in what seemed like forever, that life might go on.

James almost smiled. The corners of his mouth twitched and some of the usual color returned to his face. He looked out the window of the moving train and decided he wanted some fresh air. He opened the window.

Lily made her way to the front of the train slowly, stopping at compartments along the way in search of her friends rather distractedly. She couldn't help but wonder about James Potter. She was just confused. That was the only reason she was thinking about _Potter_. He was still a prick. Still a git. Still an irritating, good for nothing, toe rag. She was only thinking about _him_ because he had been acting so out of character, so un-Potterly, that she couldn't help but wonder why.

Lily stopped at a compartment towards the middle of the second car and opened the door, hoping to find her friends. Instead, she found the other three Marauders. "Hey guys. Hey Remus."

"Ha! See Moony, even Evans doesn't think you're a guy!"

"Shut up Padfoot."

Lily smirked, bemused. "Actually Black, I just wanted to specifically mention Remus because he's the only one of you I can tolerate."

"Hey!"

Everyone ignored Peter. While Sirius looked rather put out, Remus was grinning in victory. While Remus continued to revel, none too quietly in his achievement, Sirius scowled. "What are you doing here anyway Evans?"

"Oh, well, I was, uh, wondering if you guys had seen Sarah, Marlene, or Mary anywhere."

"Sorry Evans, haven't seen 'em. But if there's anything else you'd like to see before you leave, I'd be happy to comply." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily rolled her eyes.

Sirius winked.

"Well thanks anyway…" Lily turned towards the door, but turned around again as if a thought had occurred to her. "Actually, there is one more thing, why was James acting so oddly and sitting alone at the back of the train." She said it offhandedly, as if this question weren't the only reason she had stuck around as long as she had. Which it wasn't. Obviously.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter got quiet instantly, their smiles melting from their faces. They all looked around the cabin, anywhere but at her.

"What?" Lily was beginning to get a little annoyed with them now, after about 10 seconds of echoing silence. "What's going on? What happened?"

Remus eventually looked at her but still didn't meet her eyes. He said weakly, "You mean you don't know?"

Lily was thoroughly irritated now. "'Don't know' what?"

After a couple of more seconds of silence Sirius finally answered, "Lily," he said slowly, "James' parents died last Saturday. Thursday was the funeral."

Silence.

Lily opened her mouth, and then closed it. She gasped in horror, "Bugger! I mentioned his parents when I saw him earlier! Oh shit! I mocked them! I'm such a terrible person!"

"Lily, it's not your fault, you didn't know." Remus looked at her with sincere eyes. Sirius and Peter nodded their heads in agreement, looking sympathetic.

"But I should've known! I shouldn't've said what I said! I should've just kept my big mouth shut… GAH!" Lily pulled at her hair. There were tears in her eyes, and Lily never cried.

"Lily," It was Peter this time, much to everyone's surprise, and he spoke very firmly, startling everyone even further, "you can't blame yourself for this, it's just the way you and James are, and besides, Prongs doesn't want or need you to be sorry for him. So stop making this about you and get over it."

Lily was more than a little startled, to say the least. "Ya but…"

"Not 'buts,' if you have to apologize to him, fine, do it, but regardless, it's not your fault."

Sirius gave Peter an appraising look. "Who are you and what have you done with Wormtail?!"

Peter blushed and the others laughed, which lifted some of the tension in the room.

"I've still got to find him and apologize," muttered Lily.

The others shrugged. "Have fun!" said Sirius in a mock cheerful voice.

Lily nodded and left the compartment, heading towards the back of the train rather quickly. She had to pause and wait while some excited first years were talking in the hallway, but managed to squeeze by. Lily got to the last compartment, and took a deep breath. She would apologize, and then leave. She would not break down. She _wouldn't_. She opened the door and… he wasn't there. His luggage was there, but no Potter. Lily sighed and then looked out of the still open window. She decided she could do with some fresh air anyway and walked towards the window. The window, however, was stuck, and she really didn't feel like pulling her wand from her pocket, so she decided to just go to the very back of the train. She left the compartment and opened the door to the small platform outside. To her surprise, James was sitting with his back against the train, gazing at the scenery.

"James?"

He glanced at her when she said his name. "I didn't realize we were on a first name basis." It was a weak joke and they both knew it, but Lily couldn't help but be encouraged by his lifted spirits.

"Listen _Potter_ ," she put emphasis on his sir name and he smirked, "I just wanted to say…"

He cut her off. "If you're here to apologize or pass on your condolences, there's nothing for you to be sorry for, and frankly, I really don't want sympathy at the moment."

Lily scowled at him, sitting down as well at the back of the train. "Maybe I _didn't_ come back here to apologize to _you."_

James raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Then what, pray tell, _are_ you doing back here?"

"Maybe I wanted some fresh air."

He kept his eyebrow raised.

"Okay, so _maybe_ I did come here to apologize…"

He was smirking again. They sat in silence for several minutes before he startled her, "This conversation has been far too civil and comfortable for my tastes."

She smiled in bemusement, but went along with it. "What, do you _miss_ the arguments that we usually have?"

"Maybe."

"Fine, what do you want to argue about?"

James looked at her for a minute. "Did you get a new haircut?"

"Why yes, thank for noticing."

"I hate it."

"Gee thanks."

"Then again, it really does bring out the prissy know-it-all in you."

"How so?"

He faltered. "Well, in the, uh, you know… superior kind of way!"

Now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. "Oh I see; you're finally admitting that I'm far superior to you!"

"Ha! That's about as likely as me admitting that you're cooler than me."

"But I am cooler than you."

"Well then doesn't that make me hotter?"

"Damn, you set me up for that one."

"But of course."

"Git."

"Prig."

"Tosser."

"Prat."

During all of this, she had begun to move closer to him, and when they both stopped for breath, their faces couldn't have been more than 6 inches apart. Lily blushed and backed away rather abruptly. James just smiled lazily.

Lily hesitated before saying, "James… I really am sorry of what happened to your parents." She hurried on quickly, lest he interrupt her. "I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you're going through, at least somewhat."

James glanced up sharply at this. "I doubt it," he said rather crisply.

Lily thought about being offended by decided that she really couldn't hold it against him. "You probably don't remember," she said, looking away, "but my dad died just after Christmas break during third year. He'd been sick for a while and it wasn't unexpected, but…"

"I remember."

She finally looked up at him and saw that he understood her and was grateful for it, even if he wouldn't say it out loud. They smiled at each other before Lily started to get up. "I should go," she said, "I have to find my friends, they're probably worried sick about me."

James nodded and Lily turned to leave. "Evans?" She turned back towards him with a curious expression on her face, "Thanks."

 _Thanks_ , that was all he said but she smiled anyway and headed back towards her friends with a smile that would follow her for the rest of the day. Because of one word. It was funny she thought, and more than a little ridiculous, but all the same, she couldn't seem to make herself care. _Thanks._


End file.
